(Mis)conceptions and Great Expectations: 10dp5dt: in the depths of POAS hell

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

10dp5dt: in the depths of POAS hell

I tested again this morning with FMU, and it still looks like a BFN, or at least the suggestion of a chemical. There is a whisper of a ghost of a line. I don't know what to think, though I do know that if I were pregnant, I should have A SOLID LINE on it by now.

I can't post pictures - both my cameras refuse to upload them. And anyway, you can't see the anything of the almost-nonexistent test line on the shots, so sticking them here would be pointless.

I don't have a gp - they're in short supply and I'm on a number of waiting lists - so can't get a beta done there. I really don't think my RE will order one early, and besides, it's too late to go there today. A walk-in might be my best shot, but would I get the results today?

I hate this.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...: Why in the world do they make you wait so long? You are 15 days past ovulation. That is plenty of time to wait.; May 13, 2009 at 8:30 a.m.
one-hit_wonder said...: I don't know why. All the Canadian clinics seem to do this. My original beta day, actually, was supposed to be 2 days later yet - on Sunday! I was already thrilled that the nurse moved it to Friday!; May 13, 2009 at 8:34 a.m.
Anonymous said...: Hugs and super Hugs. I hate that it's not cut and dry for you! I just hope that you get your beta results soon and can be at peace. I'm sure this is tearing you up not knowing.

Thinking of you!
Sara; May 13, 2009 at 8:39 a.m.
Anonymous said...: I'm so sorry, I hope you can get the walk-in clinic to do it. That is pure torture. I hope it is just a fluke since it was a $ store test. *fingers crossed*; May 13, 2009 at 8:41 a.m.
Michele said...: Oh, sweetie... Dont give up hope! My first positive HPTs were really, really light for a few days.

A yes/no hCG test can come back within an hour or two; an exact number takes 3-4 hours. (This at our RE's office... I'm not sure about a walk-in clinic.) The waiting just sucks. I am always on nerve's end waiting.

Have you tried calling your RE? Maybe if you explain the situation they will take pity and do a test early? You could still do Friday's test, too, but this would hopefully give you a yes/no.

Fingers still crossed!; May 13, 2009 at 9:09 a.m.
Kate said...: Well this sucks! Not what I was expecting to happen at all - hope the pee sticks are wrong.
I think they wait so long to let the chemical pregs fade away so that the answer when they finally do the beta is more obvious. By 18dpo, you're either pretty darn pregnant, or not. Still, the extra wait is torture, and they should know that may be easier to know that you had a chemical and something really did try to implant, vs absolutely nothing happening at all.
Hope you get a real answer soon...; May 13, 2009 at 9:49 a.m.
Anonymous said...: I'm sorry those pee-sticks are being so confusing! I know that with mine, I truly thought I was having a chemical up to the time I got my beta (and then the second a couple days later) b/c the lines seemed very light to me. Maybe your RE would take pity on you if you called and explained that you know the beta's not till Friday, but you couldn't resist POAS, and now you're completely freaked out - could they possibly draw your blood today? It doesn't hurt to ask... And if that doesn't work, then maybe try a walk-in? I doubt they'd have any idea that you're not "supposed" to get your beta till Friday. Good luck, sweetie!

- "Daisy"; May 13, 2009 at 9:50 a.m.
Clare said...: Thinking of you. This time is so gut wrenchingly torturous. Hugs.; May 13, 2009 at 10:49 a.m.
Britt said...: I'm so sorry you are having to go through all of this torture. I'm still praying and I hope you get a definite answer soon. Love you!; May 13, 2009 at 12:29 p.m.
the misfit said...: KILL ALL THE PEE STICKS.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

Sending prayers your way!; May 13, 2009 at 1:17 p.m.
'Murgdan' said...: I'm so sorry you're having to wait so long...time will tell...but the waiting for time SUCKS. Thinking of you...; May 13, 2009 at 3:39 p.m.
Victoria said...: I wouldn't trust the dollar store hpts. First Response gave you the positive.
I doubt the clinic would know if today or tomorrow is your beta day or not. The lab techs don't really know what you and your nurse do. Hang in there. Just one more day or try another First Response.; May 13, 2009 at 5:39 p.m.
HC said...: For what its worth, I never get a positive on Pee sticks even with FRER. With my last ectopic and another miscarraige, my beta was way over 100 at 14dpo but sticks were all BFN with FMU. Not even a ghost of line. The doctors didnt even want to do beta, but I pushed both the times because I knew something was different.

I miscarried 2 weeks later in one case and for ectopic had surgery at 2 months preg. Different story, but the point is I always got BFN with betas well over 100.

I would say as long as you see a ghost of a line, hold on to that hope. Good luck for Beta tomorrow.; May 13, 2009 at 6:40 p.m.

Post a Comment

Hi!

I'm a teacher and an aspiring writer. I love reading, writing, watching good TV, photography, fashion, and great food. I just finished my graduate degree in Education.

My partner and I tried to conceive, on and off, for over 7 years. I have PCOS (so borderline that it was never really an issue) and the dude has severe male factor. We started this screwy trip by getting misdiagnosed (buddy, you're fine! - your wife has the problem!). I should sue that first clinic.

We had one IVF/ICSI which resulted in a miscarriage. We will not forget.

We got out of the IVF Funhouse over a year ago and my RE told me I was knocked up, but I didn't believe him. I still don't, even though as I type these words the most beautiful 8-month-old girl in the world is sitting on my lap.

Ciao,

One Hit Wonder (now literally!)

(And, thanks to my friends, also known as 'Our Lady of the Lost and Found' and 'Academia Whore.')

TTC c.v.

crap, i should update this list. i did have a baby recently.
Oct 2: Midwife appointment.
Sept. 1: Midwife appointment. Should get a booking for an ultrasound.
August 11: Started (very tentatively) to buy baby necessities.
August 7: Felt baby move!
August 4: Midwife appointment: emotional health check-up. She also says I'm measuring 2 weeks ahead.
July 22: Gp says I'm measuring ahead.
July 9: Told DH's sister, BIL, and 2 nephews. DH and I phone his niece, who's sick with swine flu, to tell her the news - she's in charge of telling the rest of DH's family.
July 7: First appointment with midwife; heard heartbeat. Told my family and then DH's mom. Got doppler in the mail.
June 30: Bought maternity clothes.
June 26: Second u/s and last obstetrical appointment with RE.
June 8: Phoned midwife with u/s news; will set up appointment after we've moved.
June 5: First u/s and obstetrical appointment. One heart doing 140 bpm. :)
May 21: Third beta - 824!!!
May 19: Repeat beta - 309.
May 15: Beta - 113.
May 14: The vaguest of positives, part deux.
May 13: The vaguest of positives. Midwife phones; I don't return the call.
May 12: Afternoon BFN on $ store test.
May 11: BFP! Scared! Already did an intake with a midwife.
May 8: A LOT anxious.
May 7: A little anxious.
May 3: Day 5: Transfer: 2 lovely blasts, already hatching. 4 blasts frozen for later. RE says I have moderate OHSS. Acupuncture.
May 2: Day 4. No updates. Take antibiotic.
May 1: Day 3. Still have 15; 5 are in the lead.
Apr 30: Day 2: 1 embie arrested; 15 developing well. Feeling ill.
Apr 29: Day 1: Fertilization report: 20 mature eggs and 16 fertilized! Speechless! Start Prometrium (3x/day) and Estrace (2x/day).
Apr 28: Egg retrieval. 21 eggs retrieved. Stop coenzyme q-10.
Apr 27: Bloodwork and acupuncture.
Apr 26: Monitoring. Full OHSS protocol. Trigger before bed.
Apr 25: Monitoring. OHSS protocol 'lite.'
Apr 24: Monitoring and acupuncture.
Apr 23: Monitoring.
Apr 22: Monitoring.
Apr 20: Monitoring. Afc 35+. Estrogen 1100.
Apr 17: Pre-stim assessment. Afc 20 and estrogen great. Start Puregon 125 units.
Apr 10: Last bcp. Woot!
Apr 7: Start medically induced menopause (aka: Lupron).
Apr 6: Endometrial biopsy (ouch!), cycle review, $11,070 due. Cyst aspiration cancelled - it burst and is disappearing on its own.
March 21: Start bcp
March 19: Day 3 u/s and b/w. B/w results excellent. U/s shows massive cyst on my purely decorative right ovary; RE wants $500 to aspirate it. wtf?
March 17: CD1 - we're back in the IVF Funhouse
March 11-16, 2009: Spotting. Come on, af!!!
March-May 2009: Second IVF/ICSI/AH (long protocol, plus endometrial biopsy). Hannam says no to Glumetza, as per new research. Waiting for af so I can start Marvelon.
March 2009: Follow-up with Hannam. All tests negative, plus DH’s DNA frag test comes out awesome – better than most men’s! (Though his morphology and motility are still abysmal.) I start extra folic acid again, as well as co-q10.
Feb 2009: Mf testing.
Jan 2009: Negative beta. Clinic says to go straight to IVF stims, no mf testing. DH and I argue about donor. We talk about separating. Switch clinics. Hannam orders mf testing and puts DH on new massive doses of antioxidants. I have karyotyping and SHG. I try a new TCM doctor, but it all COSTS so much!
Dec 2009: FET/AH with Grade 2 5-cell. Faint + on one test at 10 dpt, then nothing.
Nov 2008: WTF appointment - RE says male factor is the cause of our problem, and probably not the PCOS. I go off Glumetza, as per TCM doc’s recommendations, as it’s crashing my blood sugar.
Oct 8, 2008: M/c at 4 weeks 5 days.
Oct. 7, 2008: Beta 20. Start bleeding late at night.
Oct 5, 2008: BFP! Best day of my life. I go to DH's workplace to surprise him.
Aug - Sept 2009: IVF/ICSI (long protocol). 11 eggs, 5 fertilize. (Hardly any sperm at all after the wash.) 2 die on day 3. We transfer 2 average graders; freeze 1.
Summer 2008: At WTF appointment, RE recommends IVF/ICSI. DH starts vitamins. I've been taking vits all along, but now I start acupuncture and Chinese meds, too.
Spring 2008: Injects/IUI. Only 1 follie, for whatever bizarre reason. DH's mf discovered – less than 1 million survive wash, plus motility and morphology SUCK.
August 2007-March 2008: Move 2000 km, partly to find decent IF clinic; WAIT for provincial medical coverage to begin, and then wait some more for RE referral. In the meantime, on vacay in Central America, I o and again don’t get pg – I realize that a natural pg isn’t in the cards.
July 2007: Lap and hyst - ok, except my right ovary is purely decorative, which I knew. No injects yet – huge family issues.
Dec 2006-March 2007: Clomid 4x- BFN -s/a again ok, my bloodwork fine – I beg for thorough tests for myself –HSG is clear.
Dec 2006: First appointment with RE, who is out to lunch in every way, but since we’re in an underfunded and remote area, there’s no choice.
June 3, 2006: DH watches Big Daddy movie and decides that he wants a baby. S/a ok. Referral to IF clinic. I start charting. Am amazed that no one ever told me I could read my body’s fertility signs.
Sometime in 2004 – June 2, 2006: TTC on hold - DH not interested anymore, and I'm in a series of devastating car accidents (none my fault) that wreck my back. Start M.A. Go on Met at some point, even though my bloodwork is now normal and my ovaries don’t look that bad, but it does nothing for me.
Spring 2002- 2004: TTC casually. I don’t know what ‘ovulation’ or ‘Fertility Friend’ are. I never POAS, nor do I care.
Spring 2002: DH’s uncle dies. We think life is too short, so we toss the bcp.
2001 or so: PCOS dx (amenorrhea, right ovary anovulatory, LH:FSH out of control, hair loss, acne, fatigue). I spend the next few years bringing it under control with diet and exercise.
1996: Af always out of whack, so I get bcp (which adds 15 lbs to my frame). Doctors will not test to see what’s going on.

(Mis)conceptions and Great Expectations

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

10dp5dt: in the depths of POAS hell

13 comments:

Hi!

About Me

TTC c.v.

My Blog List

TTC Dictionary (for humble IF initiates)

Blog Archive