a history in titles (aka: see ya somewhere new)

I do realize that motherhood is the surprise flip side of my particular infertility coin and that, consequently, I should be able to continue discussing parenthood on a 'barren' blog.

However, I'm not comfortable posting baby details and my moans 'n' groans about motherhood on this blog which is frequented by some readers who who are still in the TTC battle. I have no desire to make anyone hurt.

That's why I really haven't posted much during the first year of Ninja's life. I didn't know what to say and what not to say.

And that's why I've decided to start a new blog - I welcome you to hop over if you're so inclined.

New location: Great and yet IF'fy Expectations.

***

First, a reflection on blogging.

'(Mis)conceptions and Great Expectations' started out as 'Rocked by Faith.' Then, I had a lot of faith - with a capital F - when hope radiated. When I was young and naive. It was my first foray into the blogosphere and I had no idea that there was a world of IF bloggers. I was just writing to give myself an outlet from the stabbing pain of being unable to conceive. The blog consisted of, consequently, purely stream-of-consciousness ramblings but that can be typical of women's confessional writing. I wrote with blood though I wished for white ink.

Hope faded. Years passed. I stopped blogging. Bell Jar, over at Woman Anyone? (whose dear Lola coincidentally was born today!), berated me for having the nerve to disappear. I was startled out of my shorts, pretty much, because I didn't know I had an audience. I resumed writing and I am glad I did. (Massive thanks to Bell Jar for her move.) It's a strange thing - to create (i.e., to write) while unable to create a child - but it helped. And knowing that people (specifically, people in the IF blogosphere) were reading - and caring - helped immeasureably. I began to connect with others in similar positions.

I changed the title of the blog to '(Mis)conceptions' because - useless English major that I am - I liked the play on words: I couldn't conceive PLUS allllll the fertiles of the world had the wrong idea about it. I kept writing. I incorporated more of an academic viewpoint of infertility thanks to the fascinating research I was doing about the histories of motherhood and of 'barrenness.' I began to understand some of the historical context of what I was experiencing.

Recently, I added 'and Great Expectations' to the title. Because of my love for Charles Dickens. Because I was expecting a child and I did get her and she is indeed great. (Well, I do love Dickens, too.)

And now, I'm borrowing from the most recent incarnation of the title to form Great and yet IF'fy Expectations where I want to talk about motherhood after IF and loss, my beloved Ninja, attachment parenting, marriage after a baby, new research into infertility (particularly male factor), and life in general. And from that platform I want to continue supporting my friends who are in various stages of the TTC battle, those who've decided to live childfree, and those who have their dearly wanted children.

Thank you ever so much for all your support over the years.

anyone still here? *cricket, cricket*

Belated Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah/Happy Kwanzaa to one and all. Happy New Year. May all our dreams come true.