update

Update:

-Still feel every afternoon as though I got hit by a truck. lol This is the first time ever that I don't have a problem falling asleep at night.

-Hungry every 2-3 hours.

-Obsessively thirsty - yesterday I must have had close to 16 cups of water, on top of juice and milk. Will have to ask the midwife about this.

-Baby's heartbeat is good, and my new gp said today that I'm measuring closer to 16 weeks.

-Nips are on the tender side.

-I don't think I've gained any weight yet, and I thought I had by now. So I'll ask my midwife about this.

-A bit backed up in the bowel department. (Ewww, I know.)

-My regular taste in food returned a few weeks ago: most aversions are gone. Although I'm not interested in junk food.

So overall, everything is normal. I feel good, though I'm sad. A friend of mine lost her baby yesterday - at 6 months' gestation - and my heart hurts for her. Nothing's ever sure with any of this.

Going camping this weekend - yuck. Though it'll be fun to play with my nieces and nephews. And it seems that I've made up with a friend over a misunderstanding we had a long time ago (her in-laws were badmouthing her and they blamed it on me when they got caught, and I took the fall, though I shouldn't have since I'd never badmouth a friend) and she'll also be at that campground this weekend, so maybe we'll get to hang out. That's a good thing.

a poignant story about telling the nephew, parts 1 - 3

Part 1

A conversation between me, my 4-year-old nephew, and my 10-year-old niece (as we're jumping on their trampoline). Apparently the little guy still didn't know that there's a baby on the way.

Nephew: Auntie! Do this trick! (He falls on his back and jumps straight up.)

OHW: Uh, not today.

Nephew: Why not?

Niece: She shouldn't because there's a baby in her belly. It would hurt her.

Nephew: (Stops jumping, faces me, and puts his hands on his hips.) What?

Niece: There's a baby in her belly. It's our new cousin.

Nephew: What? Do you have a baby in your belly? (He asks accusingly.)

OHW: Yes.

Nephew: How did him get in there?

OHW: Uh, it just did.

Nephew: What?

OHW: Yep.

Nephew: Did you eat him?

OHW: Oh, no.

Nephew: Did you hurt her with your teeth?

OHW: No, no, the baby is fine. Do you want to play with a new cousin?

Nephew: No. Where is him?

OHW: (Points to her lower abdomen. Nephew touches it.)

Nephew: I touched him?

OHW: Yeah, that's roughly where he is.

Nephew: (Suspicious.) Why can't I see him?

OHW: He's under my skin.

Nephew: Well, how did him get in there?

OHW: Ask your uncle when he and your dad come back from looking at the fields.

___________________________

Part 2

DH and his brother (nephew's dad) return from looking at the fields.

Nephew: Uncle, uncle! There's a baby in Auntie's belly!

DH: What? (Indignant. Yes, uncle and nephew are two of a kind.)

Nephew: Yes! My sister told me!

DH: No way!

Nephew: Uh huh! How did him get in there?

Everyone laughs.

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Part 3

Sitting on the trampoline with my nephew, my niece, and their mom (my SIL, who's had recurrent miscarriages and stillbirths).

Nephew: Mom! There's a baby in Auntie's tummy!

SIL: Yeah, I know! Are you happy to have a new cousin?

Nephew: No.

SIL: Why not?

Nephew: How did him get in there?

SIL: Honey, I will tell you when you're a little bit older. But it's nothing to worry about. Auntie is fine. She'll go to the hospital after Christmas, and then the baby will come out.

Nephew: How?

SIL: The doctor will help her.

Nephew: (Looks at me worriedly. His eyes well up with tears.)

OHW: Sweetie, it's ok, it's a good thing!

SIL: It's good news, honey. I was very happy to go to the hospital to get you and your sister!

OHW: Yes, we were all excited when your mom went to the hospital to have you two! It's ok, you don't have to worry.

Nephew: (Quiet.) Mommy, do you have a baby, too?

SIL: No, that's over for me. You don't remember the last baby, do you? That was 2 years ago.

Nephew: (Shakes his head.)

___________________________

Later it came out that he doesn't want the baby partly because he's afraid that DH and I won't go to his house anymore to play with him. Awwwww. He's a bright one, that kid.

I'll have to chat with my SIL this weekend, to make sure she's ok (or as ok as she can be). I didn't anticipate the subject of her babies. She and I talk about them from time to time, but I hope this particular context wasn't too painful for her. Ahhhh, it's not fair. I wish she had all her babies with her.

Apparently my Facial Sheen is Actually a ‘Glow’

DH remarked suddenly the other day that my face is glowing. I scoffed at this bit of news. My skin has just gotten oily, that’s all (hence my daily breakout – I feel like a teenager again). Plus I was very grumpy and tired. He shook his head no, and said I have a glow.

Wardrobe Woes

I definitely have a belly; no denying it. So I went to a Thyme Maternity store– which is a two-hour drive away – a few days ago, since I’m going to need a few more clothes in a couple of weeks, and almost started crying: everything was overpriced and hideous. (And remember, I’m addicted to beautiful clothes and jewelry.) Wal-Mart mat clothes were pure $hit; I can’t even bear to tell you what I saw. Old Navy’s clothes were very plain and shapeless, and they looked as though they’d fall apart after a few washings. Everything looked like stuff that 75-year-old women would wear.

I really wish I’d bought more clothes at that American Motherhood Maternity outlet. Most of their selection was ugly, too, but with careful hunting, I found some cute and reasonably priced items. I should’ve bought out the store, especially the bargain rack $9 USD dress pants. Slacks at Thyme were $60 CDN!!! And I’ll need at least two pairs for work. Urgh. So I guess we will end up making a run to the US in August for clothes. I don’t think I’ll need that much – I’ve already planned out what I will buy so that I can mix and match, thereby creating a number of outfits from just a few items – but I won’t be able to get it locally.

Though today I went to a local consignment shop, and found a pair of Bluenotes jeans, MM slacks, a denim jacket, and a red dressy t-shirt, all for $30. Now that’s what I want to see more of.

I should open a maternity store in my area, seriously. Pretty much everyone my age is pregnant with their third or fourth kid, but good clothes are hard to come by. Or maybe I should learn more about sewing, and just make my own.

Oy, I'm Far Behind

Here are the deets about how we spilled the beans to our family and friends.

First, the news almost got out long before we planned. The day we moved back, we went to see one of DH’s old friends, who works with DH’s nephew. Out of the blue, he said, “So your nephew says you’re going to be a dad!” I was in shock, wondering how our nephew could possibly know that!!! We didn’t answer, and eventually the friend started laughing – he was bluffing. Oh my word, that gave me at least three heart attacks.

After my midwife appointment on July 7, we decided to tell family. It was more than two weeks sooner than we’d originally planned, but the midwife said that 12 weeks – not 13 – constituted the start of the second trimester. And we did hear the heartbeat, so we thought we might as well do it. I was a bit panicked about telling people, for many reasons, and I just wanted to get it over with.

So we told my immediate family that evening. We were at my brother and sister-in-law’s place, and during supper, I blurted out, “We have some news. Apparently we’re having a baby.” Mass drama ensued. My mom and sister-in-law burst into tears, and there were hugs all around. (My sister-in-law kept saying it was an answer to all her prayers, which actually pissed me off because theoretically she and my brother aren’t supposed to know anything about our situation. And then my mom repeated that it was an answer to her prayers, too, even though I’ve asked her 4 or 5 times to never refer to our infertility circumstances. Anyway, whatever. I guess people can’t keep their mouths shut, and I wish we’d never told anyone about what was going on with us. I couldn’t control the IF, and now I can’t control the spread of personal information about it, either. It tainted the moment. It shouldn’t matter, but it does. I’m a vault when someone tells me something in confidence, but I guess I can’t expect the same from most other people.)

Then we drove to my mother-in-law to tell her. It was early evening, and DH kept trying to get her to turn the living room light on, but she wouldn’t do it. He said, “I want to see your face.” She said, “Why?” He was quiet for a while, then said, “You’re going to be a Grandma again.” She didn’t believe him. lol Eventually she looked at me and asked if it was true, and I said yes. She was very cautiously happy. One of DH’s sisters-in-law has had many miscarriages and several stillbirths, and so she said she didn’t want to get her hopes up, and of course we understand that. I also showed her the ultrasound picture, which I thought she’d just laugh at, but she seemed pretty interested.

We didn’t get to tell DH’s siblings and nieces and nephews the way we’d planned, unfortunately. We wanted to tell DH’s young niece and then let her spread the news. However, she was the one with H1N1 and pneumonia, so no one was going around to see her until she felt better. (And she is better now, thank goodness.) So we went the next day to DH’s sister’s house, and he told her, and then he phoned our niece to tell her, and to ask her to let her mom and dad know. She was pretty listless – she was so ill – but she giggled when she told me that she wasn’t going to tell her brother about it. lol

So gradually everyone else found out. Our friends were pretty shocked. My closest friend – whom I had to e-mail because we haven’t gotten a chance to get together yet and I didn’t want her to find out through the grapevine – wrote an incoherent response, punctuated with exclamation marks. lol She wanted to know, as did other people, if it was planned, and my response was: It was the one night DH didn’t sleep on the couch, but I don’t remember a thing. haha That’s nobody’s business!

DH and I went over to his bff’s place to share the news with him, and the way we did it was so funny. DH dragged the baby carriage inside and said, “I need this hot rodded by January.” It took bff and his wife a while to catch on, and when they did, they were very happy for us. He and DH discussed who to hire to paint the flames, and they settled on an older guy who is losing his eyesight, and who is trying to cram as many work orders as he can into the time he has left, since he loves his work. So bff approached this guy, and he was thrilled to be asked to do it – he said it was a brilliant idea. Yay.

And then on Facebook, I made a ‘How well do you know me’ quiz, and the final question asked “When does OHW want to be DH’s babymomma?” lol That got some funny and shocked responses, mostly via pm, though I was surprised by some people who took it but didn’t respond to the news.

The only vital person I haven’t told is my one living grandparent: my grandpa. We’re mainly estranged. I doubt my dad will tell him the news; they don’t get along. But I did send him a card, though, just so he knows. He’s a very unhappy man: maybe it’ll make him feel better for a while.

Overall, the nicest response we got was from our eldest niece, who lives a province away and who’s not that much younger than I am. She said that the news made her heart leap with joy. DH had tears in his eyes when he read that, and he barked, “She owes me a hug now! A big one!” lol

Oy, it’s getting real now. I sure hope everything works out. Thank goodness for my doppler – I use it nearly every day to ensure that there’s still a heartbeat.

Updates, part II

On Tuesday I had my first midwife's appointment. It was great. It was an hour long, and she was very relaxed, which I appreciate because I am the kind of person who really dislikes being rushed. And in terms of care, I get to decide whatever I want; e.g., I'm not getting weighed because I don't want to worry about gaining weight. I'm eating a variety of healthy food and drinking lots of water and milk, so I think I'm fine. I like the amount of control I have with a midwife; I imagine it would be different with a GP or OB, but I don't know.

And I might decide to do a homebirth. I'll talk about that more at some other point, since that's a post in and of itself.

Best part was that the midwife used the doppler - after I swore up and down I wouldn't get upset if she didn't find the heartbeat - and it worked! But then DH was tickling my feet and making faces at me, so I started laughing, and the baby ran away, so the midwife couldn't find the beat again. DH said the baby has ADHD, which would not surprise me at all, given his genes. lol

I go back in a month, and at that point I'll get a physical exam.

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And my own doppler arrived that day. I tried it out, and it worked almost immediately. And then DH was miffed that I didn't call him into the room so he could hear it, too, so I did it again. I think he's glad I bought it. This morning, though we were running late, he got me to use it for a few minutes while he laid down to listen.

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And now the creme de la creme. I've been exposed to both swine flu and pneumonia. My poor little niece has both, and I was with her 3 days ago. She was sitting on my lap and we were sharing food. Plus I was hugging her and kissing her head, etc.

I heard about the diagnosis last night, and DH took me to the ER to get checked out. The doc says I'm at risk, definitely, but that I can't worry about it too much because they can't do anything about it; i.e., they won't give me medication unless I can't breathe.

Urgh, just another thing to worry about. But I feel fine so far. I sure hope my niece is ok, though. I talked to her this morning on the phone, and she sounded awful.

_________________

Ok, next post I'll write about how we told our families. We did it earlier than planned because the midwife said that the second trimester started at 12 weeks, and everything was fine - plus my bump is growing - so we decided to share right away.

Updates, part I

Ok, the trip back home went well. We didn't take the interstate because we were pulling a U-Haul, so it was almost relaxing. Lots of nice scenery - lakes and beaches and trees - but sad because I didn't realize how economically depressed Michigan was. Lots of abandoned buildings on the most pristine land you can imagine.


So we drove and drove. Stopped for lunch, first, at Aylmer in Ontario, which has a fine Mexican-Mennonite cafe, and listened to the local radio station there, which is always a riot. Then crossed the border at Sarnia and went on from there.


I guess my big news from the trip was that I went ... gulp ... maternity clothes shopping at a Motherhood Maternity discount outlet. I did not want to enter, but DH kinda pushed me in there. I almost burst into tears at first. Was very shy and uncomfortable. But the sales person was very kind, and helped me out without ever being pushy. I must have tried on 100 different items, but settled on a pair of jeans, a tie-dyed orange t-shirt, black vest, blouse, and rainjacket. All for $120. And it's true - maternity jeans are super-comfy. Plus I bought a U2 t-shirt somewhere - it's my consolation prize, since I'm missing their world tour again!


I also went to DSW shoe warehouse to buy 2 pairs of shoes, since I didn't have even one pair to wear to work. All I have are snowboots and flipflops. So I got aqua BCBG flats and cherry red Chinese Laundry wedges - all for $60. Nice!


DH loves the new clothes, oddly. He usually hates my wardrobe. While I was modelling the threads for him, he commented, "I can't believe your belly already. It's so cute!" :) He rubs it all the time.


Anyway, it's kinda different to be back home. Some things are different, and some things are the same. I am getting bitten to death by mosquitoes again - yuck! But it's ok.


I just got my teaching schedule, and I'm excited about it. I'm teaching English as an additional language, Later Literacy, and some mainstream English classes. So I will have mainly small classes, hurray! People will feel sorry for me, I'm sure, because I have mostly 'lower level' learners, but I don't care about that. I like working with kids who hate reading and/or have trouble with it, because I can usually change their minds. It's hard work, but I'm pretty persuasive.


And we're looking for a house to buy. We have a lead on an acreage in a decent location. It comes with 200 acres, which would be terrific to own, since the rent we'd collect on it would pay the mortgage. We were preapproved yesterday for a mortgage, too, which will help us find a place faster.


More in a bit!

12 weeks!

Thanks for all the well wishes re: the move! I haven't been online at all since my last post - my parental units still don't have the internet - but I'm back in my stompin' grounds, safe and sound. We left on Monday afternoon and arrived on Thursday afternoon. Have a few stories for you - including someone who nearly dragged the news out of us - but they'll have to wait until I get more time online.

For now, today I have my first appointment with my midwife. I am super-anxious about it because I feel so freakishly normal. I'm not exaggerating. (My one symptom today: tender nips. Das ist alles.) I do understand now why there are women who don't know they're pregnant until they are quite far along. If I'd ever gotten knocked up 'accidentally,' I probably would've been one of them. So I'm hoping, since my doppler hasn't arrived yet, that the midwife will check for the heartbeat today.

I'll keep you all posted, and will be back to my normal blog-commenting duties next time I'm online!