Oy, I'm Far Behind

Here are the deets about how we spilled the beans to our family and friends.

First, the news almost got out long before we planned. The day we moved back, we went to see one of DH’s old friends, who works with DH’s nephew. Out of the blue, he said, “So your nephew says you’re going to be a dad!” I was in shock, wondering how our nephew could possibly know that!!! We didn’t answer, and eventually the friend started laughing – he was bluffing. Oh my word, that gave me at least three heart attacks.

After my midwife appointment on July 7, we decided to tell family. It was more than two weeks sooner than we’d originally planned, but the midwife said that 12 weeks – not 13 – constituted the start of the second trimester. And we did hear the heartbeat, so we thought we might as well do it. I was a bit panicked about telling people, for many reasons, and I just wanted to get it over with.

So we told my immediate family that evening. We were at my brother and sister-in-law’s place, and during supper, I blurted out, “We have some news. Apparently we’re having a baby.” Mass drama ensued. My mom and sister-in-law burst into tears, and there were hugs all around. (My sister-in-law kept saying it was an answer to all her prayers, which actually pissed me off because theoretically she and my brother aren’t supposed to know anything about our situation. And then my mom repeated that it was an answer to her prayers, too, even though I’ve asked her 4 or 5 times to never refer to our infertility circumstances. Anyway, whatever. I guess people can’t keep their mouths shut, and I wish we’d never told anyone about what was going on with us. I couldn’t control the IF, and now I can’t control the spread of personal information about it, either. It tainted the moment. It shouldn’t matter, but it does. I’m a vault when someone tells me something in confidence, but I guess I can’t expect the same from most other people.)

Then we drove to my mother-in-law to tell her. It was early evening, and DH kept trying to get her to turn the living room light on, but she wouldn’t do it. He said, “I want to see your face.” She said, “Why?” He was quiet for a while, then said, “You’re going to be a Grandma again.” She didn’t believe him. lol Eventually she looked at me and asked if it was true, and I said yes. She was very cautiously happy. One of DH’s sisters-in-law has had many miscarriages and several stillbirths, and so she said she didn’t want to get her hopes up, and of course we understand that. I also showed her the ultrasound picture, which I thought she’d just laugh at, but she seemed pretty interested.

We didn’t get to tell DH’s siblings and nieces and nephews the way we’d planned, unfortunately. We wanted to tell DH’s young niece and then let her spread the news. However, she was the one with H1N1 and pneumonia, so no one was going around to see her until she felt better. (And she is better now, thank goodness.) So we went the next day to DH’s sister’s house, and he told her, and then he phoned our niece to tell her, and to ask her to let her mom and dad know. She was pretty listless – she was so ill – but she giggled when she told me that she wasn’t going to tell her brother about it. lol

So gradually everyone else found out. Our friends were pretty shocked. My closest friend – whom I had to e-mail because we haven’t gotten a chance to get together yet and I didn’t want her to find out through the grapevine – wrote an incoherent response, punctuated with exclamation marks. lol She wanted to know, as did other people, if it was planned, and my response was: It was the one night DH didn’t sleep on the couch, but I don’t remember a thing. haha That’s nobody’s business!

DH and I went over to his bff’s place to share the news with him, and the way we did it was so funny. DH dragged the baby carriage inside and said, “I need this hot rodded by January.” It took bff and his wife a while to catch on, and when they did, they were very happy for us. He and DH discussed who to hire to paint the flames, and they settled on an older guy who is losing his eyesight, and who is trying to cram as many work orders as he can into the time he has left, since he loves his work. So bff approached this guy, and he was thrilled to be asked to do it – he said it was a brilliant idea. Yay.

And then on Facebook, I made a ‘How well do you know me’ quiz, and the final question asked “When does OHW want to be DH’s babymomma?” lol That got some funny and shocked responses, mostly via pm, though I was surprised by some people who took it but didn’t respond to the news.

The only vital person I haven’t told is my one living grandparent: my grandpa. We’re mainly estranged. I doubt my dad will tell him the news; they don’t get along. But I did send him a card, though, just so he knows. He’s a very unhappy man: maybe it’ll make him feel better for a while.

Overall, the nicest response we got was from our eldest niece, who lives a province away and who’s not that much younger than I am. She said that the news made her heart leap with joy. DH had tears in his eyes when he read that, and he barked, “She owes me a hug now! A big one!” lol

Oy, it’s getting real now. I sure hope everything works out. Thank goodness for my doppler – I use it nearly every day to ensure that there’s still a heartbeat.