(Mis)conceptions and Great Expectations: not an april fool's joke

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

not an april fool's joke

A friend back home just announced that she's expecting her fourth child.

I bet she just peed on a stick. I bet she's not even 14 dpo. For her second child, DH was the first person she told ... because she'd just gotten a BFP, and was only 10 dpo. I kid you not: she ran straight out of the bathroom and told the first person she saw.

She has absolutely no clue that her tra-la-la reproductive experiences are not mirrored by everybody.

Oh, the audacity. I wonder what that feels like, to get pregnant whenever you want, by having sex, and never even consider the what-if's: miscarriage, stillbirth, prematurity, birth defects, etc. I wonder what she'd say if she ever didn't get pregnant when she wanted to.

April Fool's joke? I doubt it.

Yeah, I'm jealous. Ironically, I'm wearing green today, too!

I know she loves her children, but she complains about them all.the.time. I just ignore it. Why is she having another one, then?

__________________

On another note, five more things for which to be grateful:

-my red high heels
-the relatively decent weather where I live now (compared to the mess back home of snow, floods, closed highways, drenched basements, etc.)
-the fact that I'm going to meet one of my favourite poets this weekend - I have loved his work forever...
-my cup of jasmine green tea with honey - a most delightful scent
-uninterrupted time to write during the last year or so

7 comments:

Felicia said...: Those shoes are definately something to be grateful for. They are really cute!!

Sending hugz because I know how you feel. I am trying not to knock over my co-worker who just announced she is 5 months pregnant with her third, who is yet another "mistake!" I would just love to experience that type of mistake without even trying. I am trying not be jealous because I know it is not the christian thing to say. But I guess I need to give it up ... I am jealous.

Really loving my blocked tubes right now!; April 1, 2009 at 1:03 p.m.
loribeth said...: I wonder too. :(

I remember last year on April Fool's Day, I walked into a card shop, only to be beaten over the head by a display of Mother's Day cards & paraphernalia. Ugh.

Not sure where you live now, but I know the weather back "home" is awful. Thankfully my parents live away from the flood areas. It was raining here this morning, but at least it wasn't snow. I guess we can't complain too much, can we? ; ); April 1, 2009 at 1:37 p.m.
Britt said...: I wonder what that would be like too :(

I also don't find it one bit funny that people for some reason think it's hilarious to tell people they are pregnant for an April Fool's joke--if only it were that easy.

L-O-V-E the shoes!!!!!; April 1, 2009 at 6:18 p.m.
PCOSDC said...: Amen sister!

My sister in law just announced her pregnancy at 8 weeks. First try of course! How I would love to get pregnant and actually believe that I would end up with a baby 9 months later, I WISH!

I'm green too.; April 1, 2009 at 8:10 p.m.
Victoria said...: You're funny, OHW. Like your shooes.; April 1, 2009 at 9:05 p.m.
one-hit_wonder said...: Felicia: Thanks, you're sweet!
Honestly, I think it's okay to feel jealous - I have realized by now, after talking with hundreds of women in the same shoes (no, not red ones, but you kwim! lol), that this feeling is normal. It sucks and makes us feel like terrible people, sure, but it's normal. Infertility just does that. :(

Lori: Oh, I'm glad your parents are ok. Was going to tell you (re: your Winkler comment) that there's another great little soup-and-dessert shop there by the post office. So cheap, and all homemade.

Britt: I knew you'd luv my shoes! heehee

Victoria: ;)

PCOS: I'm pm'ing you on FB - that just sucks rot for you.; April 1, 2009 at 9:16 p.m.
'Murgdan' said...: Tra-la-la is serious! Is this my sister you're talking about? Because it sounds mysteriously like her.

Nice shoes...and that green tea DOES sound divine!; April 1, 2009 at 9:29 p.m.

Post a Comment

Hi!

I'm a teacher and an aspiring writer. I love reading, writing, watching good TV, photography, fashion, and great food. I just finished my graduate degree in Education.

My partner and I tried to conceive, on and off, for over 7 years. I have PCOS (so borderline that it was never really an issue) and the dude has severe male factor. We started this screwy trip by getting misdiagnosed (buddy, you're fine! - your wife has the problem!). I should sue that first clinic.

We had one IVF/ICSI which resulted in a miscarriage. We will not forget.

We got out of the IVF Funhouse over a year ago and my RE told me I was knocked up, but I didn't believe him. I still don't, even though as I type these words the most beautiful 8-month-old girl in the world is sitting on my lap.

Ciao,

One Hit Wonder (now literally!)

(And, thanks to my friends, also known as 'Our Lady of the Lost and Found' and 'Academia Whore.')

TTC c.v.

crap, i should update this list. i did have a baby recently.
Oct 2: Midwife appointment.
Sept. 1: Midwife appointment. Should get a booking for an ultrasound.
August 11: Started (very tentatively) to buy baby necessities.
August 7: Felt baby move!
August 4: Midwife appointment: emotional health check-up. She also says I'm measuring 2 weeks ahead.
July 22: Gp says I'm measuring ahead.
July 9: Told DH's sister, BIL, and 2 nephews. DH and I phone his niece, who's sick with swine flu, to tell her the news - she's in charge of telling the rest of DH's family.
July 7: First appointment with midwife; heard heartbeat. Told my family and then DH's mom. Got doppler in the mail.
June 30: Bought maternity clothes.
June 26: Second u/s and last obstetrical appointment with RE.
June 8: Phoned midwife with u/s news; will set up appointment after we've moved.
June 5: First u/s and obstetrical appointment. One heart doing 140 bpm. :)
May 21: Third beta - 824!!!
May 19: Repeat beta - 309.
May 15: Beta - 113.
May 14: The vaguest of positives, part deux.
May 13: The vaguest of positives. Midwife phones; I don't return the call.
May 12: Afternoon BFN on $ store test.
May 11: BFP! Scared! Already did an intake with a midwife.
May 8: A LOT anxious.
May 7: A little anxious.
May 3: Day 5: Transfer: 2 lovely blasts, already hatching. 4 blasts frozen for later. RE says I have moderate OHSS. Acupuncture.
May 2: Day 4. No updates. Take antibiotic.
May 1: Day 3. Still have 15; 5 are in the lead.
Apr 30: Day 2: 1 embie arrested; 15 developing well. Feeling ill.
Apr 29: Day 1: Fertilization report: 20 mature eggs and 16 fertilized! Speechless! Start Prometrium (3x/day) and Estrace (2x/day).
Apr 28: Egg retrieval. 21 eggs retrieved. Stop coenzyme q-10.
Apr 27: Bloodwork and acupuncture.
Apr 26: Monitoring. Full OHSS protocol. Trigger before bed.
Apr 25: Monitoring. OHSS protocol 'lite.'
Apr 24: Monitoring and acupuncture.
Apr 23: Monitoring.
Apr 22: Monitoring.
Apr 20: Monitoring. Afc 35+. Estrogen 1100.
Apr 17: Pre-stim assessment. Afc 20 and estrogen great. Start Puregon 125 units.
Apr 10: Last bcp. Woot!
Apr 7: Start medically induced menopause (aka: Lupron).
Apr 6: Endometrial biopsy (ouch!), cycle review, $11,070 due. Cyst aspiration cancelled - it burst and is disappearing on its own.
March 21: Start bcp
March 19: Day 3 u/s and b/w. B/w results excellent. U/s shows massive cyst on my purely decorative right ovary; RE wants $500 to aspirate it. wtf?
March 17: CD1 - we're back in the IVF Funhouse
March 11-16, 2009: Spotting. Come on, af!!!
March-May 2009: Second IVF/ICSI/AH (long protocol, plus endometrial biopsy). Hannam says no to Glumetza, as per new research. Waiting for af so I can start Marvelon.
March 2009: Follow-up with Hannam. All tests negative, plus DH’s DNA frag test comes out awesome – better than most men’s! (Though his morphology and motility are still abysmal.) I start extra folic acid again, as well as co-q10.
Feb 2009: Mf testing.
Jan 2009: Negative beta. Clinic says to go straight to IVF stims, no mf testing. DH and I argue about donor. We talk about separating. Switch clinics. Hannam orders mf testing and puts DH on new massive doses of antioxidants. I have karyotyping and SHG. I try a new TCM doctor, but it all COSTS so much!
Dec 2009: FET/AH with Grade 2 5-cell. Faint + on one test at 10 dpt, then nothing.
Nov 2008: WTF appointment - RE says male factor is the cause of our problem, and probably not the PCOS. I go off Glumetza, as per TCM doc’s recommendations, as it’s crashing my blood sugar.
Oct 8, 2008: M/c at 4 weeks 5 days.
Oct. 7, 2008: Beta 20. Start bleeding late at night.
Oct 5, 2008: BFP! Best day of my life. I go to DH's workplace to surprise him.
Aug - Sept 2009: IVF/ICSI (long protocol). 11 eggs, 5 fertilize. (Hardly any sperm at all after the wash.) 2 die on day 3. We transfer 2 average graders; freeze 1.
Summer 2008: At WTF appointment, RE recommends IVF/ICSI. DH starts vitamins. I've been taking vits all along, but now I start acupuncture and Chinese meds, too.
Spring 2008: Injects/IUI. Only 1 follie, for whatever bizarre reason. DH's mf discovered – less than 1 million survive wash, plus motility and morphology SUCK.
August 2007-March 2008: Move 2000 km, partly to find decent IF clinic; WAIT for provincial medical coverage to begin, and then wait some more for RE referral. In the meantime, on vacay in Central America, I o and again don’t get pg – I realize that a natural pg isn’t in the cards.
July 2007: Lap and hyst - ok, except my right ovary is purely decorative, which I knew. No injects yet – huge family issues.
Dec 2006-March 2007: Clomid 4x- BFN -s/a again ok, my bloodwork fine – I beg for thorough tests for myself –HSG is clear.
Dec 2006: First appointment with RE, who is out to lunch in every way, but since we’re in an underfunded and remote area, there’s no choice.
June 3, 2006: DH watches Big Daddy movie and decides that he wants a baby. S/a ok. Referral to IF clinic. I start charting. Am amazed that no one ever told me I could read my body’s fertility signs.
Sometime in 2004 – June 2, 2006: TTC on hold - DH not interested anymore, and I'm in a series of devastating car accidents (none my fault) that wreck my back. Start M.A. Go on Met at some point, even though my bloodwork is now normal and my ovaries don’t look that bad, but it does nothing for me.
Spring 2002- 2004: TTC casually. I don’t know what ‘ovulation’ or ‘Fertility Friend’ are. I never POAS, nor do I care.
Spring 2002: DH’s uncle dies. We think life is too short, so we toss the bcp.
2001 or so: PCOS dx (amenorrhea, right ovary anovulatory, LH:FSH out of control, hair loss, acne, fatigue). I spend the next few years bringing it under control with diet and exercise.
1996: Af always out of whack, so I get bcp (which adds 15 lbs to my frame). Doctors will not test to see what’s going on.

(Mis)conceptions and Great Expectations

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

not an april fool's joke

7 comments:

Hi!

About Me

TTC c.v.

My Blog List

TTC Dictionary (for humble IF initiates)

Blog Archive