hierarchy in the vet world

A new vet posted on an IVF board that I frequent from time to time.

She said she's tired of people who think they've had it rough when they're 'only' on their second IVF.

WTH? So I don't count? I've been at this for seven years. It has taken this long to get to our second IVF. It's not our fault that the medical system screwed DH and me over. And that we were living below the poverty line until four years ago or so (when we both graduated from our post-secondary programs), so we could not have afforded even Clomid.

I guess it's easy for wealthy infertile women - who also have great access to IF medical care - to slam everyone else.

And then I think: what about infertile people who don't live in the privileged western world? I've read of several countries in Africa in which infertility means something even more serious to women than it does to me, living in Canada. I mean women who can't buy Clomid, let alone IUIs and IVF. Women whose personal safety and security are at risk - and who face horrific social stigma - because they can't produce children.

But according to that new vet on that IVF board, these women would not qualify as 'vets.' Because they likely haven't done even one IVF.

I had a miscarriage - only one I know of for sure - six months ago today. Do not tell me that I shouldn't 'feel' like a vet because I've 'only' had one verified miscarriage. This is not the Pain Olympics.

The hierarchy in all of this is ridiculous.