xmas

Well, the panic set in today. You knew that was gonna happen. I'm getting anxious about whether or not this worked. What worries me is that the embie was only a grade 2, 5-cell 'specimen.' But it did resume growing after the thaw, so that's the most important thing. See, I am trying to 'stay positive' (blech).

Christmas is simply the worst time of year for infertile women. First: it's about a baby. The product of a virgin birth, at that (divine artificial insemination in a manner of speaking, though, I suppose). Second (related to my first point): it's all about the kids. Babies, toddlers, children, and pg women are the centre of attention. It's what I dread. Plus I despise the commercial nature of the day. Buy, buy, buy. I like to shop, but not when I'm forced to do so because TV commercials say I have to empty my wallet.

And the season drags on and on for months. October to December.

At least I've had a reprieve this year. We're 2000 km away from family, so we had a laidback day. No presents, no decorations, no weather worries, and no pg nieces. It was nice. We went to see the new Jim Carrey flick, and it was ok. But I picked today, of course, to start worrying.

It's a weird time to be cycling, too. A bad time to be disallowed from coffee, chocolate, and booze! I've not been good on the chocolate front this time, as I like a chunk of fair trade chocolate every now and then. Whatever.

At least I got 1 Christmas during which I could treat myself as though I'm pg. More than I expected, and I'm glad for it.

Hope you all made it through the day.