the christmas letter i'd like to send to family

Annual Christmas Letter

Dear Family and Friends:

Wow, we can hardly believe that 2008 is almost over. What a crazy year!

January began with a bang, as my brother was, and is, still MIA, although he phones up my mom from time to time to harass her. Can't be good for dad's heart, but I'm sure he'll be fine.

Then, DH’s father passed away due to medical negligence. We flew home immediately when it was apparent that he was getting worse, and missed saying goodbye to him by 30 minutes. We buried him on a frozen Manitoba winter day – with the windchill, it was -56 degrees Celsius (-68.8 degrees Fahrenheit, for you Americans) – and our little nephew, who is four years old now, still believes that his granddad is playing an underground joke on all of us.

DH and I didn’t know what to do, so we flew to Cuba for two weeks. We tried to conceive naturally, as we’d been doing unsuccessfully for the past six years; of course, since we believed all of the profound life advice that people love to share, we just knew I’d get pregnant this time – after all, it was a horrible time of life and, on top of that, we were on vacation, ‘relaxing.’

Surprise! I got my period! And we celebrated by getting drunk and waiting for the RE to say – after a year-long delay - that we were finally ready to proceed with injectables and, yes, artificial insemination (for all you farm family members, break out the chuckles! – yes, just like you do to the pigs and cows!).

That first IUI cycle, which was around the April mark, turned out to be the only one we tried, as we found out that DH’s swimmers suck! He can’t get one past the goalie! Who knew? What a great sense of relief for me, as I found out I wasn’t the only ‘problem’! I could blame it on DH, poor guy! ;)

So the RE recommended IVF, and we cried for joy in her office upon hearing that news.

The IVF itself was so tightly orchestrated, so organic, so easy on the body and soul, so … sooooo. I mean, thank goodness it happened, anyway, just so that we’d have a place to spend that extra $10,000.

After overstimulating, we only retrieved 11 eggs. Most amusingly, DH’s swimmers went into hiding! It was so reminiscent of childhood to us, like an endearing game of hide-and-go-seek. Our hearts even pounded, wondering where those little normal spermies had gone! Ha ha! In the end, the sperm definitely beat us, those little buggers. Only five eggs fertilized, and two of them died on the third day, thanks to the bum sperm. We transferred two and froze 1. I tell you, since I know none of you have been through IVF before, there is nothing as romantic as the embryo transfer at the clinic, with a host of doctors and nurses and techs peering at your vagina, a light beaming down on you, your womb exposed on a screen, and your dear partner holding your hand. I mean, it’s such a group effort.

After a crazy two week wait, I discovered, with shaking hands and screaming heart, that I was pregnant. And then I lost it 3 days later. It was a comfort to learn that my body is healthy, though, and that my PCOS is not interfering with my reproductive capacity. It's that bum sperm. DH and I celebrated all of this news by taking a romantic vacation in Pennsylvania, and drinking a lot. I mean, if you’re not expecting, you may as well enjoy yourself, right?

In the meantime, I attempt to work on my thesis, even though I’m restless and I cry all the time. Isn’t that funny? – it’s the work I love to do the most, but can’t quite keep my mind on it. I’m sure there’s a good reason for it. Maybe we need another baby-making holiday. It’s so hard to decide on where to spend our money: a hot holiday or another IVF? You’re all right about our fabulous childfree lifestyle, in which we can pick up and go at every opportunity. We're so thankful.

Yes, that’s about where we’re at right now! Oh, I’m on a frozen cycle, and so I’m on estrogen for that. (Yes, my menopausal aunties, we’re on the same drugs, and I’m only 30! Isn’t that a riot?) Our embryo has a 50% chance of coming out of freezing in one piece. It’s like a glass half full, when I think about it. We have a 13% chance of clinical pregnancy with it, so I'm sure you'll get a happy phone call sometime in March to share our joy.

Ah, I almost forgot! The crème de la crème! The cherry on top of the Christmas cake! DH’s brother has cancer.

It’s all just too much, really, and we count our blessings at every opportunity. I guess we should get more Christmas spirit, since it doesn’t really show in our surroundings. We haven’t purchased any gifts, we don’t decorate anything, we haven't been to church in ages, we don’t send Christmas cards, and we don’t have any Christmas baking lying around. And no, we don’t have any ‘surprise’ news to spring on you on the 25th. But thanks so much for asking us about all of that at every opportunity. It lets us know that you care.

We hope that your year was as fabulous and action-packed as ours, and although it’s difficult to believe that 2009 could top it, we wish even more blessings for you in the coming 12 months.

Especially to my cousin, S-----, who will give birth at the same time that I was due. It’s a real gift to read about every piece of pregnancy news in your Facebook status updates, especially the sarcastic ‘Oh the joys of pregnancy/nesting/motherhood’ one-liners. My heart bleeds for you.

From our non-family to you and your family,

One-Hit_Wonder and DH