oct 13

Stayed home from work today. DH is working on the house, and all the moldy materials that were being thrown around made me sick, so I was up all night with a migraine. (And remembering the miscarriage, but I’m pushing that out of my mind.) I hate staying home from work, but I think I could probably use a day off my feet, anyway. DH threw out the offensive materials ASAP, so now I’m feeling better.

I started doing baby laundry yesterday. Some of the tiny little things – pyjama bottoms, socks, and a little sweater – are draped around my bedroom right now, air drying, and I feel peculiar when I look at them. As in: They belong to me? I’m going to need them to dress a tiny little human being who looks like me and my man? Really?

I realize that it’s too early to do laundry for a January baby, but I want to wash the brand-new things – e.g., the nursing cover, washcloths, sleepers that people have given us, etc. – three times before I use them. From what I’ve read, most textiles in the western world are pretreated with flame retardants, and I want to wash off as much of that as possible, as well as pesticides and other ugly residue. I wish there were more organic options, especially in my hick town. Anyway, between now and late December, I’ll get everything into the washing machine at least three times.

The romance of cleaning baby clothes will wear off within another two loads, I tell ya. I hate laundry, and I know we’ve got tons of it heading our way this winter, especially since we’re cloth-diapering. But for now, depositing baby clothes into the washing machine is a pleasure – and a healing, in a way – I never thought I’d get.