midwife appointment

Saw my midwife today. She was very comforting and - without her saying that obnoxious line "just relax" - got me to relax. Now that is talent, especially where I am concerned. lol

I gave her the family status, as it consumes my thoughts when I'm not at work.

(If bored by my family unit complaints - which wouldn't offend me at all, since I'm certainly sick of hearing myself think about it - please skip ahead to the second part of this post.)

In a nutshell, I have learned that my family is not concerned with my feelings. They are 'too busy' with five million things - the most important of which is mowing the lawn (I'm not exaggerating) - and doing what their spouses want, which trumps everyone else. (What I have learned from this? That if baby is crying and DH wants a beer, I am to 'feed' him before I am allowed to feed our baby. Because DH is My Husband and therefore his wants and needs trump everything else.) According to my familial unit, the nuclear family reigns supreme, even though that is a really recent development in our culture (and is even more recent for my SIL, considering that she hails from an even stronger 'extended family' culture). Such a recent development is this - considering that I grew up in a complicated network of family relations - that I didn't know that it had become the law.

And my parents and my brother and my SIL only have time for us on Sundays; but unfortunately, DH and I are usually gone on Sundays because that's the only day that all our friends (and many of his family members) are legitimately available to spend time with us.

DH is upset about this, too. So when my mom calls and kinda wants him to be the middleman, he says that he can't - even though he wants to - because he "has to support" his spouse, since that is "her rule." Haha. Sad.

Between me and my parents, more specifically, the problem always comes down to this: I don't clean up enough at their house. (My mom SAID this to me.) I don't mow the lawn enough, I don't help in the garden enough, etc. Despite the fact that I spent many hours this summer doing those very things. So whatever. I can't make them happy. I can't go to their house because I can't be comfortable there: I'm too afraid to spilling a peanut on the floor and 'messing up' the linoleum (again, this is not an exaggeration). I'm even nervous to take my kid there because babies are messy, and what am I going to do about that?

Either I am overrreacting, which is entirely possible, or my family is not what I thought it was.

I have begged my DH and my friends to tell me if I'm overreacting. Their response: if my family understood why I was sad about them, then I'd certainly be overdoing my emotional response. They say, though, that my family clearly does not get it, and so I'm not remiss in my feelings about this situation.

Midwife suggests counselling - she was concerned that this problem was consuming my thoughts and affecting the baby.

Please feel free not to comment on the above section of this post. I'm sure everyone's sick of hearing me whine about this - I myself am DEFINITELY tired of thinking about it - and besides, there's much better news to follow. (I must say a huge THANK YOU to you all, though, for your very supportive comments to me - they were reassuring.)

So here is a dividing line:

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I had been a touch worried about Ninja, since I felt that the movements were a bit fainter and more sporadic. Also, I have gained only 8 or 9 pounds - am not eating as much as I think I should - and was anxious that I was starving the baby. The midwife checked him, though, and laughed: she said that his heartbeat was perfect and that his growth was exactly on target. I'm not supposed to worry about weight gain: just eat when I'm hungry. Relief!

Next appointment is a month from now, and after that, I'll be in biweekly until I hit 36 weeks.

No ultrasound date yet. URghhhhhh. I insisted on getting shipped to a different hospital to have it done, since DH wants to be there for the ENTIRE thing, and so she had worked on that, but hasn't gotten an answer yet.

She also told me that worrying about buying baby stuff is pointless. She told me what I need to get: blankets, sleepers ('onesies' for you American folks), a CSA-approved carseat, and diapers. Everything else - if we need it - will work itself out, and nurseries are a waste of time and money. Ok, I thought, I can do that! (And so I'm not a terrible mother for not doing up a nursery - yay!)

I still feel great. Sleep is an issue - I'm not used to sleeping on my side, still, so I wake up all the time with my hips killing me - but that's a very lame 'complaint' in my books. I have a sleep disorder, anyway, so if my hips weren't waking me up, I'm sure my body would find some other way during my zzzzzz to malfunction. Though I must say that pregnancy seems to have elminated one of my sleep disorders - my body no longer jerks around every time I try to conk out - which is wonderful!

Job is going great. I'm exhausted by the end of the day, but enjoying my classes. Got bumped up to 100% - did I mention that? - and so hurray for extra pay!

IF Optimist asked for a pram update: nothing, so far! DH's bff is taking care of it - he's sent the pram to a premiere hot rod painter - and so the result will be a surprise for us, as well! I'll be sure to post a photo of it, though!