stressed, but have my eyes on the prize

Fast update. I'm so far behind.

--Working on the house. Cleaning and repainting the interior.

--Haven't really started prepping yet for teaching. Don't have time. This is bad. But I still have 3 weeks until the first day of classes.

--Haven't had time to finish thesis, for a variety of reasons. Thumbs waaaay down.

--Employment Insurance (which is a government program into which most Canadians pay) is denying DH's claim, even though he was honest and did everything to the letter. Basically, since he's setting up a business, the local EI folks told him he wasn't allowed to look for work until he finishes writing his business plan, but today the federal EI person who called said that he WAS supposed to be looking for work all along, so they denied his claim. So we have no income until I get paid at the end of Sept, and we haven't had a paycheque since June. (He was entitled to 39 weeks' worth of paycheques, which we now have to kiss goodbye.) I just cried about that all morning - I'm so pissed about it - and DH is very overtired and grumpy, which doesn't help. Plus my SIL was there, and her cheery response was: "Don't worry, the Lord will provide!" That made me even more upset, since DH did everything legally - even though he could be working under the table and not paying taxes - but now he doesn't get insurance money that is rightfully his because of a miscommunication at the EI office. So it was easy for her to say that.

But baby is good, and that's the most important thing. (And physically I feel great.) I don't feel him a lot yet, but it's so cool when I do. For a moment he was really busy last Sunday; it was like popcorn bubbling in my womb. Made me laugh and then cry with joy.

Am starting to get his room ready. He won't be in it for a long time, since I'm planning to co-sleep for a year or more, but I figured we should prep and paint since we're doing all that to the rest of the house, anyway. So DH, as we speak, is painting the walls a medium-dark tan and the trim/doors a bright white. I want to decorate the room with orange, turquoise, and green. Good for a boy or a girl. The colour combo will be very modern and 'hip baby.' I don't really want it to look too 'babyish,' if you know what I mean, because I'm not into murals and other things that will have to be changed in a few years. I do want it to look beautiful.

What I'm setting up, basically, is a Montessori nursery (information about Montessori can be found in The Joyful Child). Maria Montessori was an amazing educator, doctor, and philosopher who had many influential ideas about childhood development, many of which I'm borrowing for the nursery. Everything must be tactile, safe, beautiful, and accessible. Cribs aren't used, so as not to hinder the infant's exploration of her immediate environment. I found out that my SIL used a Montessori nursery for her four children, and she loved it. Also, I discovered that another SIL is planning to use this method when she has kids (and she was surprised to hear that anyone had an actual label for it, since she says that in her culture that's what everyone does: co-sleep for a few years, then use a mattress on the floor).

At any rate, I'll try Montessori for the room's design, but if it doesn't work for our kid, I'm willing to go buy a crib or a Pack 'n' Play. I'm flexible. And just so you know, I do have a lot of experience with infants, so I'm not completely delusional. lol I've cared for newborns (i.e., baby-sitting) since I was 10 years old, and often overnight. Yes, since I was 10 years old! Isn't that crazy? I was a very responsible kid, though. Am not sure that I'd allow any 10-year-old to care for my baby, though!