It was a tough night. I ended up taking Ativan and Gravol to calm down before going to bed. Love Ativan, and wish I could take it every day, but it doesn't work if I take it more than 2 or 3 times/month. So it's for emergencies. Besides, I'm still on my stash from my doctor at home - she prescribed 60 pills as sleeping aids when I moved away 18 months ago, and I have 30 left - and I don't know how hard it will be to get more.
Besides blaming my anxiety on PCOS, I can also blame it on both 'nature' and 'nurture': my mom (and others in her family) have a history of anxiety and depression, and my strict cultural upbringing was enough to make any girl worried about everything. And on top of that, I think a lot of women suffer from anxiety, due to the way we're socialized, anyway, in a man's world. It's a lot to deal with.
I am severely far behind in the dealing with the bureaucracy of my thesis. I HAVE to have a committee meeting next week, but haven't sent my proposal out yet for them to look at. The aftermath of the miscarriage and the failed FET have just prevented me from doing much, especially dealing with paperwork and correspondence. So I have to get on top of that today.
ETA: I just got the proposal together - from all its bits and pieces - and sent it off. (It's 50 pages long, and that's just the first 3 chapters. Yikes.) At least that's one less thing to worry about today.
Monday, February 2, 2009
worryyyyyyyy
Posted by one-hit_wonder at 11:09 a.m.
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2 comments:
50 pages?! That's great. It's hard to focus on fertility and school. I know because I'm in the same boat.
Focus your energy on the thesis....it seems to be a more fruitful venture right now.
Recovering from the miscarriage must be so hard for you physically, mentally and emotionally. I hope that you do find some outlet to recover from it. We can never forget, but atleast re-learn the rules of a proper life.
Take Care!
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