almost 23 weeks! long post!

Well, I said I'd try posting from my e-mail, but was too exhausted and overrun this week to try it out! I put in a ton of hours - especially because of two evening events at the school. I woke up on Thursday morning at 5 a.m. to my first-ever charley horse (sp?) - YOWCH! - so I guess that's a sign that I need to stay off my feet.

Things are good. The school division offered to change my contract from part-time to 100% - YEAH! That makes a big difference on my paycheque, plus it means that I'm eligible sooner for maternity leave. :) :) :) Now if I have to leave in mid-December, it'll be fine. What a relief! Though I'm still going to try to work as long as I can.

Job is going really well. Admin has been hugely supportive (the principal even comes to check on me in person to make sure I'm not overdoing it), parents have been good, and the kids are fun. I have a large number of highly obnoxious boys, but that's par for the course. Good thing I actually think teenaged boys are funny, although of course a lot on the smelly side. haha

In pregnancy news, my left boob started to 'work' on Monday. I know what colostrum looks like, due to my knowledge of dairy farming (my parents keep extra cow colostrum in the freezer - stored in 2-litre pop bottles - for use on premature and sick calves), and yes, that's what came out. lol But I haven't seen any more since then. Good to know that things are working, though. My boobs are the same size as they were pre-pg - though that will change shortly, of course - but man are my nips ever huge!

Belly keeps growing. DH laughs his ass off every time he sees me. lol So I just ask, "Does this baby make me look fat?" He thinks that's the funniest thing ever. He's very grumpy, though, about not being able to hug me tight or to lie on top of me (he shows affection by draping himself all over me). So our sex life is pretty much nonexistent these days, since only 2 positions seem to work: but he hates one of them and I hate the other. lol

Ninja is not living up to his name so far, though! lol He's quiet all morning and afternoon - even if I drink Coke or coffee or orange juice - and then it's party time at night. Yesterday was the first time that I felt him move nearly all day, which was lovely. He made me giggle when he was bopping around while I tried to be Serious and Erudite Teacher. lol

My inlaws do NOT like to hear that Ninja is still for most of the day, which is understandable, given the family's dead baby history. So I try not to worry them by just not mentioning it. My MIL is still pretending that it's just business as usual - she's said to DH that she's still terrified to get her hopes up. She keeps coming across good used baby items - diapers, snowsuits, etc. - but doesn't buy them because What If. But I think DH and I are very understanding of her feelings, so that's fine.

At the same time, though, we do have to get moving on baby shopping. My first 'big' purchases will be a sling and 0-3 month diapers. Thank goodness for the bump in my salary, since DH still hasn't received a cheque since June!

I've also decided, given my family's annoying behaviour as of late, just to leave my mom out of the baby shower idea. I won't have one, then, but I'm ok with that. I didn't want it for the 'stuff' as much as I wanted the celebration of new life, but I guess all those people will come by at some point anyway, so it's ok. And as far as the 'stuff' goes, DH and I feel pretty minimalist, so we'll figure out how to take care of it. Sadly, everyone our age is long done having babies, so we won't get hand-me-downs.

Still no ultrasound appointment. And Misfit mentioned something in a blog comment: that it shouldn't be legal for a hospital to withhold medical information about me...from me! (Even though I won't ask about gender, I should have a right to find out if I wanted to!) When I thought about it that way, I realized that I am not willing to have an ultrasound there, no matter what. If I don't get in at another city - where I have full access to my own medical information - I will not agree to an ultrasound. Or I'll just pay to get a 4D done.

Supermouse brought up a great point in her comment on my last post: not to get fixated on what kind of birth I want, in case things don't work out the way I planned. I've noticed that a lot of women assume that things will go their way for their births, and they're heartbroken when labour and delivery take a different turn. With all the miscarriages and stillbirths in my husband's family, I think I've got a good handle on what to expect. Which is basically: don't hope for anything more than a healthy baby. I know what I really want - an unmedicated and 'natural' experience - but at the same time, I'm flexible. I'll do whatever needs to be done, and I refuse to beat myself up if things don't go the way I'd hoped.

Case in point: I know a woman due at the beginning of January who just had her baby a few days ago ... at 24 weeks. Things often don't go as planned. (Baby seems to be doing as well as can be expected, though, which is wonderful.) In light of this news, I gave Ninja a stern talking-to: STAY IN UTERO UNTIL JANUARY. Not as though a lecture will accomplish anything useful, especially with a kid as stubborn as ours will be, I'm sure, but whatever.

Ok, I've written enough for now!