status of the embryos

as i've been saying, dh and i are tentatively planning to try an FET cycle. possibly this april, depending on whether or not i have a job at that point.

a month ago or so, i dug out our infertility medical records (at least 3 inches thick, no joke). i wanted to see how our four frosties had been graded. i didn't look at the time because i was so elated that i had any blasts, let alone six, that asking too many questions seemed to be calling for a rainstorm of jinxes.

but now i need to know.

and they aren't that great.

interestingly - and i wasn't told this at the time - our RE didn't transfer the best two embryos. he transferred the best one (a 4AB, from what I recall, which is really good) and the third-best one (an average one). although we'll never know for sure, it seems clear to me that the best one resulted in my little Ninja.

out of the four sibling-embies, one is a 3BB and the rest are 2CC (I think - don't remember for sure). (here's a web site that shows pics of the various grades.) the RE said they looked good so i thought the grades would be better than that.

huh.

i have an appointment next month with the RE and i'm guessing he'll peg the next cycle's chance for success at 30-40%. which is still a damn sight better than any chance we'd have without it. but it's far from the 80% chance we had last time.

don't get me wrong - i'm eternally grateful to have had one chance that worked. and that i have four blasts, still. i'm not complaining. just wishing i didn't have to think about this. i just talked to a former colleague who did nothing but complain about her 2-year-old daughter. her baby was a "failure of birth control," as she termed it. she'll never understand what a gift she has.