Great post by Mel over at Stirrup Queens about the first American baby, Elizabeth Carr, who was born via IVF. Elizabeth just gave birth to her first child - a 'natural' conception - and she wrote an article about it for the Boston Globe. Mel points out issues for the rest of us, such as fears of passing on our infertility. This particular paragraph grabbed me:
my biggest fear, as a woman with high FSH, clotting factors, and a LPD, is that I will pass along these conditions to my daughter. And it is not because it is a pain-in-the-ass to engage in assisted conception –that is the smallest part of the matter — but the emotions that accompany needing assisted conception. I know that for some, they are simply amazed and grateful that this science exists and they can utilize it. But I experienced a very different emotional landscape, and I’d rather my daughter never curl up on the bathroom floor and sob as her period begins.
The last sentence made me cry for my daughter.
Back when I thought Ninja was a boy, I was paranoid that he'd 'get' whatever ails DH in the reproductive department. I did whatever I could to ensure health for my baby boy. I even bought organic cotton diapers with wool covers to ensure that nothing would harm his genitalia. I wanted him to avoid the heartache that my DH had on the road to conceive him.
And it turned out to be a girl. A beautiful, funny, bright, loving daughter.
Will I give her my borderline PCOS? Will DH's reproductive woes get passed on to her potential son(s)?
I think I'd rather die than know that my daughter is lying on the floor and crying because she is bleeding again. I'm crying again now just thinking about it.
All I can do is try to keep her healthy and happy. I will monitor her as she hits puberty and, if I see that her cycles are not regulating, I will bring her to a doctor ASAP (which my parents did not do) and I WILL NOT let doctors do to them what they did to me: stick me on the pill and refuse to do any testing. For so long doctors called me 'the problem' and I had to advocate for myself. My daughter, if she has anything similar the matter with her, will have me fighting for her.
And when she is old enough, I will let her read this blog and she'll know to watch for the same things in her children, if she has them.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
infertility: genes into which i hope my daughter never fits
Posted by one-hit_wonder at 10:26 p.m.
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6 comments:
Amen... I read Mel last night, too, and it does... It gives you such a chill to think of your children suffering with the heartbreak you have gone through.
But all we can do is be diligent. Thankfully, my OB/GYN is a gift, and I know he'll have no issues watching Maya for signs of PCOS, etc, that plague me, and, when Bobby is old enough, we can explain to him how important a fertility work up is IN THE BEGINNING of TTC so that he can in All Systems Go.
I am also concerned about this and my DH just doesn't understand the emotions that are attached with it. I am sure I had PCOS passed from both sides of my family. Most of the symptoms are just annoying, but the thought of my precious daughter having to go through the heartbreak of IF just kills me.
A beatiful post. The line about the period had me choked-up to. Very poignant.
I hope your children will have excellent reproductive health.
Amazing post OHW!
Yep the 'passing on' is an issue for me too.
I am not sure if I will ever let my children read my blog...maybe or maybe not. But I will take care that they have help at hand, and that they know how to deal with the kind of stuff I had to deal with.
I think nutrition is one thing I can certainly take care of. One of the things that still strikes me about Birdman is that he does not eat well...there is no schedule, he will eat out even when there is food at home, and if he loves it, he can chug in any amount of the good-stuff. Nuff said.
Amen to Victoria's comment's last line.
Yes, this crossed my mind before we knew our children were boys. Of course, they can't get PCOS, but who knows if their daughters could be afflicted?
And of course, I don't know exactly what is wrong with your DH, but a lot of male factor stuff is also genetic, and sometimes, it can be caused later in life, like by a disease. A boy/man who gets measles post-puberty for example, is at risk of sterilization.
But, it is unlikely that a certain kind of underwear or something would be the base cause of male infertility. Definitely more research needs to be done in the area of male factor infertility...I think that will happen, as awareness of the problem is increasing.
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