Good thing I didn't test - af is here. Been sick and tired all day.
Last night, my dh brought up adoption for the first time. Not that we haven't discussed it before - I've wanted to adopt since I was a teenager - but he said with some conviction that we should give a good home to a great kid. I said no. Adoption for me right now would be a second choice, and that's not fair to any kid. Plus, we would likely get a child who is a minority, and we live in a culture that is, shall we say, less than accepting of other colours of skin. I can't imagine what it would be like for a Chinese or Haitian child in our culture.
I don't know. I want to adopt, but I see it as a separate thing from having biological children. I want them both, but I want them separately, because I don't see adoption as just an option in case of permanent infertility, if that makes any sense.
Argh, I don't know if that's all clear, and I'm too tired to re-read all that.
I would like to add, though, that just because this is my current opinion doesn't mean that I think I'm right about it. I'd like to have other peoples' opinions on it.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
dh wants to adopt
Posted by one-hit_wonder at 11:39 p.m.
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1 comments:
For some people, going on to adoption is difficult because it can feel like defeat or giving up on your initial goal for biological children.
In your case, you haven't equated the two, as you consider adoption something independent of child-bearing, and it sounds like you'd eventually do this whether you were able to conceive or not.
Do you think you could be happy with adoption if you were never able to conceive? Would the pressure/stress associated with fertility treatments have a negative impact on an adopted child? Would he/she always feel like they were never good enough for you? These are some tough questions, but you can't be anywhere near ready to adopt until you are able to answer these in all honesty.
Wishing you the very best! :)
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