because i couldn't let it drop...

Remember that conversation I had with the lady in my class who kept insisting that I was lucky to be infertile? And I wouldn't let it drop, even though it was really painful, so I kept explaining until she started to think about what she was actually saying?

I'm kinda doing the same thing with my brother. I thought again about what he said to my poor dh (I understand what you're going through, just relax, just adopt, you're lucky because you can become missionaries), and I thought: he really needs to be told not to say things like that.

So I did. I did it in a diplomatic way, but I explained clearly that it's best not to pester people about their family plans, as many people can't have children (and that these questions rip their hearts out) or don't want them (and are too scared to say so because of people's potential reactions).

I've reiterated this to him several times since then, but he keeps saying that people just ask because they care, and so that makes it okay. He doesn't see my point - from the perspective of someone who is actually going through this - that these questions injure people's hearts: with 1 out of 6 couples experiencing infertility, asking someone about his/her family plans is a loaded question. He just doesn't get it, no matter what I say.

It's too bad, too, as he wants to go into missions. He is a very caring person, but sooner or later he'll have to figure out that he can't pretend to understand people's problems if he hasn't lived them himself.

Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you all, as I'm finding it liberating to (try to) set people straight about infertility.